I know it isn’t easy raising kids. Plenty of experience there. But if today had anything to announce to the world it would be that there is one truly obnoxious, snot nosed, rug rat just waiting to tell the world it owes him big time.
Normally my burb is a quiet little corner, birds singing, lawn mowers etc. Today we had a performance that not only shattered the peace, but did it’s best to send me to the end of my patience, as this little creep lives right behind me and he had chosen the back yard for his hour long screaming fit. How on earth can some kids do that? If I tried screaming like that I’d have given myself a major headache in the first five minutes, if not a stroke. I was desperately tempted to grab the water tank hose and aim a jet of near zero degrees water over the fence to give Little Lord Sh*thead something to scream about.
So what were the parents doing? Talking to each other, about how they were going to settle him down. Then their usual limp drivel trying to talk the now foaming at the mouth child out of his one way voyage to complete mental meltdown. It seems these days the politically correct thing to do when dealing with a three year old doing a very good impression of a psychotic episode is talking to them as if they were adults. Of course ignoring the fact the average goldfish has a higher I.Q. than a kid in mid tanty.
Eventually all settled down, I am assuming that the kid finally collapsed in exhaustion from his display of complete fury, probably at something like not being allowed his forth bowl of fruit loops or something equally stupid. He was on a sugar induced frenzy, I recognised that. Thanks to an ex-husband who thought he’d be clever and deliver his sons, both under five at the time, back home, munching away of a box of red jelly crystals EACH.
No doubt this will not be the last time we hear from this wanna be narcissistic little Nero. Seeing as the parents feel this child must be allowed to ‘express’ himself. In the meantime I am sitting back and smiling because I know in a few years time, when he works out better ways to get attention, like setting fire to the house because he wasn’t allowed to watch a DVD, I will be long gone from this place.
Is it any wonder some kids think they rule the place.
4 comments:
A license to breed wouldn't be a bad idea, I suppose the "parents" lacked enough comprehension of the situation to apologize?
What do you propose they should have done, D? Reasoning with a three year old is as effective as debating politics with an Alsatian. You can't belt 'em. Can't lock them under the sink. Can't do a flipping thing except let them burn themselves out, usually. What your neighbours need is a large soundproof box. Maybe get one of those shipping containers in.
Hi Bangarr! No apology naturally. Oh well, they have to live with it.
Dr Yobbo, yes, there are things you can do:
1. Scream louder, give them points on going off, it completely throws them if you do it right.
2. I was serious before, nothing like a nice cold bucket of water. Letting them know in the process you are merely 'giving' them something to scream about.
3. My personal favourite, crack up laughing, not forgetting to jump and grab the camera and tell them you HAVE to get a shot of this. Follow through and start laughing all over again at the photos. It worked for me.
Being laughed at, whilst in mid tanty really works. Well it works on most kids, those with the red veil of murder over their eyes dont see, hear, smell or feel anything but the veil of red murder.
A squirt gun, one of those really super dooper knock them on their arse sqirt gun, aimed at the center of the forehead, (not the bloody water, the whole frikken gun)
usually works too. Explaining the red welt glowing brightly on the said forehead might take a bit of imagination tho!!!
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