Taking things far beyond needed.

    

 

It came to be that a new air fryer was required in the happy home. 

And so as was my usual practice I started looking around at what was available. I was bombarded with all sorts of nonsense, lights, buttons, bells and possibly whistles. Also with bright LED screens to tell you what to do and when to do it. Being Gen X, my nose and parts of my upper lip curled in contempt. I did not need or want something with more artificial brain power than want was available for the first man on the actual moon gig. 

Then I found it. In the sea of unnecessary garbage one special air fryer stood alone. Devoid of above mentioned lights, buttons, etc. A simply decently sized beastie with two simple dials. One for the time and one for the temperature. A couple of small lights to let you know if it was hot enough to start cooking and the other to let you know if you haven't turned it off. Simple. I immediately christened it the granny fryer because you didn't need a masters in computers and food technology to run the silly thing.  When did it become a thing where everything needs fifteen different buttons to get something to work. I saw today a toaster with an LED screen and an overwhelming collection of buttons. 

It is just toast people! 

You can also make toast with a long fork and a fire! Why does anyone need a toaster with enough buttons to eject you clean through your own roof if you don't push the right ones the first time? Today I had to visit the toaster and kettle departments of a local store, I can assure you after I was assailed with the choice of toasters, I kept my head down in the kettle department lest I find a kettle that requires a week long online course to get it to work without setting the kitchen on fire. I managed to find my chosen ones and made a dash for the exit. They are now sitting on the kitchen bench. Still in their boxes because when I open them, should I find instruction books, yes books, there will be a small fire in the kitchen sink.

 Hopefully that is the end of my small appliances needs for the year, once a year is frighteningly enough. First there is the cost, because everything on the planet has gone through a steep increase this year and simply because a day was ending in 'y'. Then there is the discovery of how much more ridiculous extras has been added to whatever product you are looking at. What truly amazed me was there was no mind numbing zeal for the colour grey. In some stores there was a small rebellion and kettles and toasters of different colours could be had. Where oh where are the fun police when you need them? Something having the audacity to be a colour that doesn't suck the life out of you when you see it. 

In about a months time I will need a new vacuum. Please keep me in your thoughts when I have to face this soul destroying event.