Another lesson in patience.

Recently I pondered just how completely brainless some humans can be and still manage to walk and talk. Let alone be allowed to breed.

Not so long ago, I had a moment where I was smiling politely and avoiding the urge to verbally truss someone up like a turkey dinner. Why do some people assume after seeing a couple of colour catalogues with shiny pages and pretty pictures, they will then know more than anyone in the history of the world? Then open their mouths to prove just how witless they really are? This moment concerns the endeavours of a couple deciding their next completely pointless and money wasting must have would be a laptop. Now, it is no secret I prefer to doddle away on my mini me netbook. That’s just me, I still have a rather larger, scarier, able to launch a shuttle for NASA pc, that sits under the desk, waiting for the day The Terminator becomes reality and it can reek it’s revenge on me for all the crappy eighties music I have stored on it.

Picture the scene, I was trying to be nice, a husband and wife were looking into getting themselves a small laptop, I happened to be at the house where they were and had taken over my little Beastie to do some work for the people who actually lived there. When hearing their declarations about not wanting a big laptop I handed over my little guy and offered for them to have a look at it, although slightly worried as these people are not the brightest lights on the Christmas tree. After having a thorough look through all my personal stuff, for all the really interesting stuff, shmucks, like I wouldn’t have THAT hidden so deep you needed a submarine to find the good bits, I was told in a rather condescending tone, that they thought my laptop wasn’t worth their even considering as it wasn’t very big and therefore totally useless to them.

Now they weren’t talking hard drive, or CPU, or RAM for that matter. Mention these things to them and they think you are having a religious episode and talking in tongues. They literally meant it was just small. The wife managed stifle her giggle as I managed to stifle the urge to tell her she was an idiot in front of her kids. She needed a ‘much bigger’ laptop for all the things she would have to do. Right. Firstly her idea of gaming involves solitaire and that’s it, she has no idea excel and spreadsheets are actually connected, and feels extremely proud of herself if it only takes her half an hour to change the wallpaper on the desktop. She has been known to get upset with newer computers because they insist on using those silly little memory sticks as opposed to the obviously far superior 1.44mb floppy disks. (?)

Now I shouldn’t be surprised, considering the house I was at feel it is entirely beyond them to plug a chord into two computers and run a home network wizard, fair enough, we all need a little help from time to time. But there are moments when even someone with as little knowledge as I have, feel the need to take the laptops, pc’s, etc, of others and throw them in a large fire, because it would seem a far more humane ending than what they are condemned to in the hands of these dweebs.

I am looking forward to finding out just how much they got ripped off for, and how long it takes for them to totally trash anything they do end up buying. Thankfully I am way too far away from where they live to have anything to do with the whole catastrophe, but not so far away that I won’t hear about it and be in fits of laughter, sooner probably than later.